Hareline

Upcoming Events

Nelson H3 555, St Arnaud, 04-06 Jul 2003
Mt Maunganui H3 777, Otawa Lodge, Te Puke, 25-27 Jul 2003
9th Pan Asia Hash 2003, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, 03-05 Oct 2003
Gerries' 1000th, Wellington, 13-14 Feb 2004
Interhash 2004, Cardiff, Wales, UK, 23-25 Jul 2004

Run Reports

Run 1440

AGPU 2003

Another bus job this one. With the hares anticipating 30-something Hounds on the trusty bus a veritable horde turned up including occasional Hashers such as Septic and River Rat, the ever-reliable Pot Boy who turns up if he is assured of minimal run and maximum beers + 3 mates of High-Heels complete Hash Virgins who may just have got the wrong idea. I think they were Yao, Pete and Dave, someone called them P1, P2 and P3 so that stuck.

Oggy and DT had successfully delivered the suds and Evil had delivered the Ayatollah as well as scrounged a heap of syringes (which the Ayatollah was slightly disappointed to learn was not a totally original idea in WH3). Evil took charge of boarding protocal the Hash innoculation against SARS. Then it was off on a lengthy journey all the way to the Botancial gardens on Tinakori Road.

Quick circle for Septic to show the New Boots how a down-down was performed then it was their turn. HighHeels had set an imaginery trail thru the Bot Gardens to the Cable Car by the time the bus got there the front runners, which included the General, had already arrived.

A bit of a circle was held here, hashers were hit with a Peach Schnapps first. Various negative acknowledgements were made.

Worst run went to Mildew for The Battle of Waterloo, it was water and rather a lot of it that was the problem, hardly the hares fault, but the Hash has never been big on justice.

Worst tucker to Arold for his combined charcoal flavoured curry, glug that had once been rice and a spectacular attempt to set his kitchen on fire for his India day run.

And the Horn of Silence award went the the outgoing Horn, Numbnuts. In answer to where is the phucken horn? It is at a horn-doctors in Newtown. Prognosis is uncertain, but I hope to get it back by Monday 28 April.

Gonad was fined for being one of only 3 hashers who did not set a run in the past year, the others being TeaPot and Yearly for the record. Manifestly unfair charges of course!

Evil and HighHeels let fly with miscellanous fines as we tried to spin things out knowing the tucker would not be ready until 8 oclock.

Significant achievements were acknowledged in the field of haring. Sourpuss set 4 runs and Oggy had set 5 tho with two of those as co-hare I called it 4. Tripod and HighHeels set 3 each for the record.

Back on the bus for a foray down to the city. The hares decided to throw everyone off on Taranaki St because they were drinking too much beer, directed then to The Garage aka HighHeels work. HighHeels did not expect his boss to be there so a horde of hashers marching into the Garage went over like a pig at a Jewish wedding. Hence, everyone back on the bus for the long wait.

Tucker took longer than planned to arrive by 17 minutes as it happened but it seemed a lot longer than that. The beer took a harder knock than necessary and 20 packs of crisps stashed in the chilli-bin at the back got despatched giving the floor a sort of crunchy/soggy aspect.

Some more significant achievements were rewarded:

Best run of the year to Sourpuss for his Mexican themed 666 at the Massey Memorial last year.

Best tucker: Modess Joe's Hangi at Te Garage. And mentioned in despatches Rangoon Flyer's Curry and Flies' Haggis.

That stalled things for a short while but mutinous rumblings had increased to a low roar when the tucker finally appeared and it was on up to the gloom at the top of Mt Vic. Oggy was right, we should have chucked the pack out and made them run up Mt Victoria. Still the view was great and it was a calm clear night for a feed in the bus car park. Should have chosen somewhere better lit but no-one actually trod in their tucker in the end.

Highheels was determined to stitch Oggy up and that delayed the start of the Erections, eventually the Ayatollah got a word in and did a quickfire 4 appointments.

Hashstorians Porkbox and Biggles were re-appointed having done a fine job of not getting their houses burned down while Hash records are held in them.

And Highheels and Arold pulled a coup on the absent TeaPot to overthrow him as HasherDabra, thanks for the work there TeaPot (some major hassle for TeaPot in getting those fleecy suits out for the 1400 run + hats and socks) and we will be seeking advice on how this pub-charity stuff works, if it isn't already a dead letter.

Back on the truck for a trundle down to Lyall Bay downhill to the smell of burning clutch and the tune of Were all going to die! next stop at the Eastern end of the beach. This was to be a tequila stop, but we ran out of glasses or Tequila or something so an honour roll of everyone who had done 40 runs or more was read out - that was half the assembled company and got rid of that muck. Special mention was made of Bubbles, Biggles and Captain Cook who did 47 runs each. And the most runs, 49 of a possible 51, Tripod!

Apart from DT of course who did 82 if you believe the random numbers he sticks in the book.

By this time it was clear that the idea of going around the Peninsula with 4 more stops was ludicrous, the Kegs were in an ominous state and Evil had stashed two plastic containers aside for the Erections.

Democracy continued at speed, Captain Cook was appointed Hash Horn (He protested later that this was unfair as he was horn three years ago - he'll have to protest that to the new Ayatollah as Arold had been deposed by then).

Puha was unanimously re-elected as On-Sec, tho there is a rumour of him disappearing to Swaziland again, so we'll have to watch for any lurking web-maintenance talent about the hash.

Oggy's sterling effort as hare-raiser was noted and Sproggy appointed in his place. A bit of worry that he really is going to do 13 runs (consecutive) from Tawa, but the die is cast!

And after all the debate about how to cope with the BBQ and Beer supply to the Hash and some significant progress towards self-sufficiency by the hares, Modess Joe offered to save us all from having to think (almost). So grateful welcome to the new Beirmeister and BBQ Wallah Modess Joe. And appropriate thanks to Hood and Oggy (and PissPot from time to time as well) for keeping us in Beer and BBQs were completely overlooked.

Sourpuss had offered to fill the demanding boots of Hash Kash so he was appointed without hesitation. Pisspot delivered a Financial report, we've got some dosh, tho about $1700 less than at this time last year, so the more people on the monthly rip-off, the better, I think was the gist of the Financial stuff. Huge amounts of thanks to PissPot Kev.

Back on the truck for a spin around to Point Jerkingham for the final appointments to orifice. The last bottles of creamy giggle juice were passed around to quell the impending insurrection on the trip around Evans Bay. It congeals nicely with beer.

Port was dispensed on a self-help basis as the 2nd keg died leaving just enough beer for the last office-bearers (this happened last year too maybe we need 2 Kegs+ a hidden emergency crate of flagons for future AGPUs just a thort).

A quick Prick of the Year was presented. TC was a popular nominee, but on the basis of simple stats, fair or not, it went to Puha.

We ignored the outgoing Monk, Dogfish, cos he never got to do much Monking and also ignored the new HeadMonk, Bridgend, cos he was not present. Arold got to drink for Bridgend, proper acknowledgement will be made on his return no doubt.

In the mayhem I'm not sure the outgoing Religious Advisors, Evil and Highheels, received the down-downs they richly deserved but the incoming RA, Tripod, was duly announced.

The final act welcome to the new and justly warranted Ayatollah Rangoon Flyer. The pointy hat was charged and consumed and the evil act was complete. Ayatollah Rangoon Flyers first task was to fine the most recent ex-Ayatollah who consumed the last of the suds with aplomb.

Onto the Cambridge, which was barely open when we arrived, business changed pretty fast and the Ayatollah presented the PoW to K9 for his (alleged) Keg pump demolition effort.

By then there were some fairly seriously pissed people, this may have been the whole idea...

New Committee:

Hashstorians and Masters of the Rolls: Biggles and Porkbox (old and new)

Hasherdashers: Highheels and Arold outgoing: TeaPot

HashHorn: Capt Cook outgoing: Numbnuts

On-Sec: Puha (but he may train up Porkbox!)

Hareraiser: Sproggy (new) outgoing: Oggy

BBQ and BeerMaster: Modess Joe outgoing: Hood

Hash Kash: Sourpuss outgoing: PissPot Kev

Religious Advisor: Bridgend - outgoing: Evil and Highheels

Monk: Tripod outgoing: Dogfish

Ayatollah: Rangoon Flyer outgoing: Arold

Awards/Records/that sort of stuff:

Best run: Sourpuss 666 from Massey Memorial (Mexican run).

Worst run: Mildew Battle of Waterloo totally washed out (only bad on account of the weather). The on-on was great!

Best Hash tucker: Modess Joe's hangi.

Worthy runners up: Rangoon Flyer's Wadestown run, Flies' Robbie Burns Day run.

Worst tucker and best arson attempt: Arold's India Day run, Newlands.

Best Injury on the Hash: Kotanga's fall on the Kerala backwaters post-Interhash.

Most runs set: Sourpuss = 4; Oggy = 4 (5 but 2 were co-hared so counting as half each!). Tripod and Highheels = 3 each.

No runs set: Tea-Pot, Yearly, Gonad.

Most runs: Tripod = 49.
Bubbles, Biggles, Captain Cook = 47.
Lots of others - over 40 runs.

Runs from Pubs: only 4, one was Wellington HHH 1400th from Eddys bar set by TC. 2 by Sourpuss in Kilbirnie and Bridgends run from Speights Ale House the old Western Park Tavern. + 2 where the keg was not an option. K9 and Pisspot's 777 from Tawa RSA and the Battle of Waterloo from Avalon TV studios.

Never bloody stays to get fined: Septic, Flipper.

The Horn of Silence award: Numbnuts for not getting the fucken thing fixed.

Prick of the Year: tied between Puha, Goodyear and HighHeels on 3 each. Went to Puha.

Went to InterHash: Bubbles, Oggy, K9, DT, Arold, Goodyear, Townplanner, Kotanga.

Victim of the Year: Knob Roy - unfairly picked on by Arold every time he ran.

Run 1441

Porthole's Posse

Not a bad night for a run. Ring Sourpuss; find out from Phillipa that he's getting picked up by Bubbles. My turn to drive but ok I'll sacrifice that and go with bubbles, under duress you understand.

Lots of tooing and froing between Sourpuss, Bubbles and Sluggy as to where to park as Bubbles too scared to take on the narrow Mt Pleasant road. Eventually decide on Holloway Rd. Couldn't find a cab to get us to the run so trudged up the hill to find plenty of parks outside along with the pack taking off at snails pace.

Good choice by sourpuss to avoid the initial trail and proceed up hill where we ran into the pack at Plunket Street. A check saw the pack head up Fairview Tce but i carried on to Upland Rd for a rendezvous (she was a little poorly you understand). A raptuous reception greeted my return journey toward Mt Pleasant road; all emanating from the on on where the pack was viewing an athlete in flight.

A new bbq was waiting to be christened at the Sproggy/Porthole abode. The story goes that Oggy couldn't promise a bottle full of propane or a bbq full for that matter so Sproggy went and bought a new one. A true martyr this boy! He couldn't, however, bring himself to smash a bottle over it to christen it so smashed one on the step instead. This to christen his new venue as well.

After much Hurricane blubbering etc etc, we looked to 'Arold for the usual formalities; only to find Rangoon Flyer ready to do the business. Apparantly there were erections last week. Someone could've told me. With Tripod by his side they made a dynamic duo; with edicts to reduce the amount of frivolous down downs.. hare hare. And it was the hare who got an award for something; not too sure what but it was Sproggy and it is almost mandatory now for him. It was a bit cold for him to drink in one go and, not wanting to spill anything on his new path, we graciously allowed him two bites at the cherry.

New boot awards to Busy Ditch (apparantly known to Dunny Door and their kids) who i thought lived with Sproggy, but apparantly turned up on the night, out of the blue, and proceded to take over the place, kids and all. Again it was a bit cold so she was given the Sproggy treatment.

I got the prick for some frivolous reason but at least got it down in the traditional fashion.

Porthole showed us her favourite spider web (I thought Sproggy had actually been there) and DT told us that the Hurricanes could mathematically not get into the semis (though he couldn't elaborate). As the usual bullshit was starting to flow i ducked away early.

ON ON Goodyear